Wednesday, May 03, 2017

House of Dolls

Would you believe there is a brothel in Barcelona staffed by sex robots? I had to pinch myself when I saw this article to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. (I have yet to awake from a dream after pinching myself – maybe it’s time to replace that old saw with biting your toe or something.) The Spanish company behind this venture is called Lumidolls, and they are planning to open a similar establishment in the UK, where brothels containing flesh-and-blood women are illegal. They hope to attract customers by advertising the following features:

• a wide selection of “totally realistic” girl robots, with “angelic faces” and “penetrative gazes”;

• the opportunity to enact fantasies you “would not dare to do with a woman”;

• the use of “special antibacterial soaps” to disinfect the robots after they have entertained their clients.

The key question for potential customers is in what sense these simulacra are “robots” rather than just “dolls”. To the naked eye, they look like dolls – I can’t detect any moving parts and the expressions on their faces are decidedly fixed. Maybe they emit squeaks when you squeeze them, like children’s toys, but I doubt that will satisfy punters looking for an interactive experience.

Naturally, I forwarded the article to the manager of the safari camp, hoping to be enlightened by his take on the robots/dolls, but he was more concerned about what they were charging for using them:

“82 pounds an hour!” he exclaimed. “That’s almost as much as a real woman costs!”

“But you are ignoring the advantages they have over real woman,” I replied mischievously. “They won’t laugh at men who whinny like horses and go cross-eyed when they climax.”

“Have you been talking to my wife?” he asked suspiciously. “I could tell you a few things about her.”

Even if the brothels were to lower their fees, they would not be popular with everyone. Feminists argue that men who use sex robots will get into the habit of treating women like objects. This may well be true in some cases. Other men, however, may suffer from the opposite delusion. I remember reading an article about a sad old codger who had fallen in love with his sex doll. The poor fellow was convinced she was a tender creature who loved him dearly. He might well have left her everything he had in his will – I suppose the money could have been used to repaint her skin or replace parts that had lost their elasticity. Or maybe he gave instructions for her to be buried with him. Sex doll or not, you have to be sorry for a girl who suffers that fate.

What can one say about these psychosexual dilemmas? I don’t pretend to have the answers. There are no sex dolls in the jungle, and if there were they would be torn to shreds by the baboons. All one can do is observe the foibles of humanity and record them faithfully for posterity. There is no hero but the truth, as Tolstoy said.

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How much would it just cost to buy one? I'm not sure I want sloppy seconds on another guy's robot.
I am not sure I would feel comfotable poking myself into a chamber with anti-bacterial soap residues in it. It seems like it would be likely painful to my hydraulics. But, then again, invading such a territory with other males seeds inside is not something enjoyable either. Neither are enticing propositions.
I guess some males would be willing to dock into any port (hole) that is available, but I would tend to think no voyage of my vessel in that type of trip would be worth the cost. If my wife were not able or willing, I think my hand would be a less frightening option. And, seriously, would a robot grip strong enough to provide any real pleasure?
seems like great business opportunity.

of course i'd have to do some intense research before investing.
They're complaining about 82 pounds per hour? Dang. I'll take one pounding per six months, and I'm happy. Some humans are too spoiled, GB.
I pray that I live long enough to see all the advances made in sex robots. Cancer won't be cured. No way. But I'm confident there will be a major explosion in sex robot technology.
And then what happens, when I man is , huh, popping the porpoise, and the robot malfunctions and he can't get his junk out!?!?! Or if the robot bites down real hard when performing oral. OUCH!
There is something about the love or hatred of a real flesh and blood woman that I would miss. On the other hand is the any-port-in-a-storm theory of male needs. What about the possibility of the neglected women? These robots may offer a new business opportunity for sperm bank collection rooms. There are just so many considerations to mull over and the real hookers may have to be taken into consideration.
How do the robots feel about premature ejaculation? My friend wants to know.
Harry Hamid: Would you want a virgin robot? I'm guessing that would run into 5 figures.

Pipe Tobacco: The grip question is a fascinating one, Professor. On such purely technical aspects, I'm sure robots will eventually surpass real women. But your wife will no doubt always be superior in creativity and resourcefulness.

Mr Rosewater: You could offer to write a review if they provide a free prototype.

Robyn: Those are Great British Pounds, Robyn! If you meet Prince Harry he'll provide them by royal appointment! :)

Dr Ken: You have such an optimistic outlook on life, Dr Ken.

Mistress Maddie: Those would be serious malfunctions, Mistress. Heads would roll in the corporate office. A safety "off-switch" on each robot is essential.

Jono: It does seem like a good way of collecting sperm, but there would have to be precautions to prevent contamination. Mixed samples would be the ultimate disaster.

Exile: I should imagine they would esteem men like your friend above all others. There's less wear-and-tear if it's over quickly.
I can already imagine the news reports about the robot brothels that do not properly disinfect their robots spreading around robotic herpes. Do gorillas have to worry about herpes?
Ewwww. it was all going SO well until they mentioned “anti-bacterial soap” Nice. Hey, why not keep her greased up?

£82 and hour! I’ll do it for £50 and throw in a Spag Bol.

Now there's a weird thing. Sex robots..who would have thought.
Reminds me of a great movie, "Lars and the Real Girl." That movie was strangely lacking in sex scenes.

Are there no male robots? Seems like it might work better, considering that robots are pretty much born rock hard. Sex without cleaning up empty beer bottles the next morning? Without chance of pregnancy? Somewhat tempting, though probably still not worth paying for.
Jimmy: Gorillas don't get the herp, Jimmy. Our jungle foods give us immunity.

Jules: You sell yourself far too cheaply, Jules. You could charge the same rate as a high-class MILF escort. ;)

Mary: Someone must have thought of it, Mary. Maybe he got the idea from a vacuum cleaner.

Shoshanah: There was a male sex robot called 'Gigolo Joe' in the film A.I. I can't remember if he charged for his services - he seemed very keen to please.
RE: special antibacterial soap....


I'm at a loss for words for this one.
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