Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Lady Victoria's lovers

As a chivalrous ape, I feel moved to defend Lady Victoria Hervey (pictured above left) from the cruel mockery of the mob. She is reportedly “mortified” about the existence of a secretly filmed sex video in which she is ravished by Mel B and her oafish husband. She fears that the video will be used as evidence in on-going divorce proceedings between Mel B and her husband (although I can’t for the life of me see why).

Nevertheless, the crass and lumpen elements of the on-line media have jeered at her apprehensions, declaring that she who cavorts with the Scary Spices deserves her fate. Their logic is defective, to put it mildly. Consenting to a threesome with a married couple does not give them the right to make it public knowledge, far less secretly film the event for later disclosure. The lack of sympathy for Lady Victoria cannot be unconnected with her aristocratic status. One gets the impression that those who are currently lampooning her would have hooted and cheered as the blade of the guillotine descended on poor Marie Antoinette.

A further mitigating point is that Lady Victoria was apparently the victim of a wily entrapment, quite unaware of anyone’s intentions until the last second. Here is an account of what happened given by a close friend:

“It was all a blur and everyone was very drunk. She told me one minute they were laying in bed watching a movie together, then they got carried away and Stephen was on top of her and Mel was kissing her. Next thing she can remember they all woke up naked in bed in the morning.”

This description suggests what occurred was in a grey zone between aggressive seduction and date rape. Mel B should hang her head in shame for using her celebrity status to lure Lady Victoria onto the marital bed, slyly waiting for the opportunity to force kisses on her stupefied lips, making her flesh putty in the hands of her predatory husband. It’s the sort of behaviour that gives pop stars a bad name.

Thus far, I have offered no opinion on the practice of three-in-a-bed romps. It’s not my business to approve or disapprove of human mating practices. My old circus buddy, Smacker Ramrod, told me he regretted the one occasion on which he participated in a fleshy entanglement with two women. It ended in farce when his bedmates clashed heads after simultaneously attempting the same manoeuvre. Regrettably, he could not suppress his laughter at their slapstick mishap, which totally ruined the mood. The last thing women who have butted heads want to hear is the guffawing of the man they were trying to oblige.

One would hate to think that Lady Victoria suffered the additional trauma of butting heads with Mel B. Hopefully she avoided that misfortune by adopting a passive role. Sometimes the safest course of action for a lady is to lie on her back and let other people do the work. 

Labels: , , ,

Laying in bed watching a movie with a married couple, and then next thing you remember is waking up naked?!?

I hate when that happens.
this will probably not have a happy ending (ha). what do you think of their jahoobies?
That must have been very traumatic for poor Smacker Ramrod, whose mother had already saddled him with so much.

So far as Lady Victoria goes, I don't know who she is, but this sort of story makes me glad I'm not a celebrity. I do stupid stuff all of the time and it never makes the papers.
show biz kids making movies
of themselves you know they
don't give a fuck about anybody else

i wonder if mel had her steely dan?
poor, poor Lady Victoria. Fancy having to be the filling to a spice sandwich and then not remembering anything. My heart bleeds. Maybe she should play on the fact that scary spice and co caused her to go narcoleptic and run with "Sex Shame On Spice" story of her own. You'd think theses aristocratic types would have a bit more nous.
Threesomes sound interesting in theory, but trying to satisfy two women simultaneously seems truthfull like it would limit drastically the awareness of your own feelings of pleasure and passion, for you would be so busy with the varied orafices and how to attempt to pleasure them for both women that you would lose any sense of anything other than keeping one or the other waiting and being unsatisfied while you are internally entertaining the other. And, with that.... it seems we (the male) would lose out on pleasure as well. A valiant attempt could be made, but it seems doomed for inevitable failure.
Mistress Maddie: You must have bitterly regretted it, Mistress, but I'm sure you quickly recovered your self-respect. :)

Anne Marie: I didn't really study her jahoobies, Anne Marie, but I should imagine they're paltry compared with your ones. :)

Harry Hamid: Would you believe 'Smacker' is actually a nickname? His parents named him 'Hugo'.

Mr Rosewater: Very true, although I wouldn't even call them 'movies' in this case.

Jules: Aristocratic types lose whatever nous they have when sex is involved, Jules. There are too many examples to count on my fingers and toes.

Pipe Tobacco: There is much in what you say, Professor, but have you considered the model where a passive man is ravished by a pair of viragos? I believe this happened to Jonathan Harker when he visited Castle Dracula.
I'm too uptight for a threesome. I'm certainly not interested in seeing another bloke naked and two women would overwhelm me. It's probably best if I just have a mug of warm milk and sliter off to bed to read an Agatha Christie book.
One woman is enough to overwhelm me on occasion. I can't imagine two or being a Mormon. Lady Victoria should learn to keep better company or hang out with porn stars if she wants to get her kink on.
Oh that doesn't sound good.
The former Spice Girls certainly have certainly gone to great lengths to stay in the headlines
I take your side, GB - the side of compassion. I know the weirdness and horrors of waking up in bed naked with naked married couples. Seems to happen nearly every weekend. I don't know what I ever did to deserve it, but it's exhausting.
Exile: Are you impersonating an Englishman? If so, it's a very good impersonation!

Jono: Is it true some Mormons are porn stars? I've seen some strange video clips recently...

Mary: What advice would you give Lady Victoria, Mary?

Jimmy: I'm not convinced it's a big effort for them, Jimmy.

Robyn: It doesn't matter how exhausted you are if you get a good nights sleep, Robyn. And the shame and horror are the price you pay for being a lady!
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Follow my blog with Bloglovin