Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Unnatural birth

A woman from Ontario has made a name for herself by giving birth while wearing a Chewbacca mask. A You Tube video of her braying while in labour has won near-universal acclaim:

“She’s the kind of woman I aspire to be,” tweeted one of her adoring fans.

Chewbacca mom, who’s real name is Katie Stricker Curtis, explained the philosophy behind her masquerade:

“Just because I’m about to be a mom doesn’t mean I have to grow up! Never take life too seriously!”

She must be the first woman in history to turn childbirth into a comedy routine. I wonder what gave her such an outlandish idea. Did she think that making people laugh would give meaning to her labour pains? Most women feel that the baby itself is sufficient reward for their suffering. You have to give her credit for being such a devoted slave to comedy.

Having said all that, I confess I’m in two minds about Mrs Curtis and her wookie show. As a former circus ape, I’m all in favour of innovations in slapstick entertainment. On the other hand, you can’t turn everything into a joke. Giving birth may be an important life event for the mother, but it’s the biggest life event of all for the baby. Taking your first breath is a solemn occasion. You don’t want people laughing at you when you’re struggling to squeeze your bulbous head through an overstretched coochie. If the aged are entitled to a dignified death, babies should be entitled to a dignified birth.

When I told the manager of the safari camp about this story, he said:

“The baby must have been thinking ‘What the fuck?’ when it saw its mother’s face! If I’d been in its place, I would have asked for a mirror to see if I took after her!”

“My dear manager,” I replied. “If you’d been in its place, everyone in the room would have been saying ‘What the fuck?’”

Of course, a newborn baby has no idea what its mother is supposed to look like and will bond with anything that nurtures it. Remember Tarzan? He was nursed by a chimpanzee and grew up thinking he was an ape, even thought his arms weren’t long enough to perform all the feats. When he reached adulthood he was a strange, hybrid creature who swung on jungle creepers and made eerie yodelling noises. If a human thinks it belongs to another species, it ends up neither fish nor fowl.

One hopes Mrs Curtis took off the mask before she started suckling the infant. Living for comedy is all very well, but you can’t expect a newborn baby to laugh at your jokes. What will the child think when it’s old enough to see the You Tube video? Will it be proud of its zany mother who inspired so much merriment? Or will it think the woman who carried it in her womb is a bit of a prat? Time will tell. 

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thank the dogs and cats I NEVER had to push a bowling ball thru the eye of a needle!

if guys ever had to give birth, the planet would not be overpopulated as it is now.
Holy cow!

I mean Holy Shit!
And what will the child not only think of his mother when he see the video, but what will he think of this post should the grown up baby come across it. Hopefully it will answer your pondering questions.
Do you know what would've been more interesting? If she had worn the mask during the lovemaking session that got her pregnant. Put *that* on the internet if you really want to score some hits.
if trump sees that, the list of 7 naughty countries will expand to 8. some very bad people in ontario.
When Rodney Dangerfield was born the doctor slapped his mother.
Anne Marie: If men had to give birth they'd really be in the shit! Their babies would too!

Pop Tart: Are you quoting from 'Batman and Robin', Ms Pop Tart?

Mistress Maddie: I hope the child will be grateful for my interest, Mistress! Who else has spoken up for the baby?

Exile: I wouldn't watch something like that. Interspecies porn makes me queasy.

Mr Rosewater: You could all wear Chewbacca masks in protest.

Jono: Haha, that sounds like a joke he made! About himself?
A few months ago there was a Chewbaca mom who got famous just for wearing the mask in a car and that got like 100 million views on youtube. A lot easier than giving birth... I think if I have to give birth to go viral I will pass.
Personally I think it's kinda ridiculous.
She should have immediately put an Ewok costume on the kid. Cutest and nerdiest moment ever recorded had she done that.
I agree, GB. The poor baby was already scarred for life pre-birth. And wasn't it hot under a Chewbacca mask. She should've gone for something more mild and light - like Hello Kitty or Miss Piggy.
Jimmy: I think you'll have to do more than wear a mask to go viral, Jimmy. Instead of giving birth, how about laying an egg?

Mary: She might consider that to be praise, Mary.

Dr Ken: Something tells me the baby wouldn't have liked it, Dr Ken.

Robyn: I've never seen a Miss Piggy mask, Robyn. Is it just a snout and a blond wig? The baby could have filed a paternity suit against Kermit the Frog.

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